Want to change your child's behavior?

Here are the basic techniques:

1. Reinforcement is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with greater frequency.
1. A behavior precedes a favorable stimulus (commonly seen as pleasant) that increases the frequency of that behavior.
2. A behavior precedes the removal of an aversive stimulus (commonly seen as unpleasant) thereby increasing that behavior's frequency. 
2. Punishment is a consequence that causes a behavior to occur with less frequency.
1. A behavior precedes an aversive stimulus, resulting in a decrease in that behavior.
2. A behavior precedes the removal of a favorable stimulus, resulting in a decrease in that behavior.
3. Avoidance learning is when a certain behavior results in the cessation of an aversive stimulus. 
4. Extinction is the lack of any consequence following a behavior that had previously been reinforced, resulting in a decrease in that behavior.
5. Non-contingent Reinforcement is a procedure that decreases the frequency of a behavior by both reinforcing alternative behaviors and extinguishing the undesired behavior.          [http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Operant_conditioning]

Let me break it down...

Children want our attention. So, we really have to consider how much of our energy or attention children get from our response to their behavior. A small reward like McDonalds or punishment such as a stern discussion can be quicker than #4 or #5 but can often lead to inconsistent messages. Our children, quite honestly, can get more attention for doing a undesirable action. How much time do we give someone that's hit a classmate compared to opening the door for a friend? 

Keep your eye on the prize. We want to build a child's natural curiosity for learning, empathy towards others, or foster independence towards their adult years. Please consider how to extinguish (#4 & #5) the undesirable behaviors while nurturing a child's sense of self worth (#5).

Consistency is the key. The more consistent you are with your technique, the more a child sees you as fair and will trust your reaction. Often, there's a trial period at the beginning so stick to your plan.
Posted by Cinnamin Rivers, CAS School Counselor